


I Don't Need To Be Saved

by KalikaSion



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hydra (Marvel), POV Third Person, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, omega female reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21823006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalikaSion/pseuds/KalikaSion
Summary: (Y/N) is a HYDRA agent. She was sent on a solo mission to find the Winter Soldier and bring him back to HYDRA. When she runs into a roadblock, she is given a new mission. Now, she as to kill Captain America and bring Bucky back in one piece. Even under HYDRA's control, (Y/N) isn't sure if she can kill Captain America but she knows that she better bring him back or die trying.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> He, y'all. This is my first reader insert fanfiction. I hope y'all like it.

She was painfully reminded of that fact daily. Her stomach growled loudly and she rolled her (Y/E/C) eyes. Hunger was all too normal for her. It didn’t bother her. It was an all too familiar feeling. She knew that once this mission was finished, she would be eating the best she ever had in her life. She knew it wasn’t going to last long but at least she’d finally get to know what it feels like to finally feel full. With a groan, she finally started to move. It was cold. Almost too cold. She was wearing a grey long-sleeved shirt, black skinny jeans, and knee-high black boots. She wore her hair loose so it hit her midback.  Even exhausted and half-starved, (Y/N) was beautiful. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was. She just knew that her target was close by, at least according to the information that she was given before she was left to fend for herself in the elements. 

Even with her body covered, it wasn’t enough to keep out the cold. She still shivered and shook. She had her mission and she was ready for it to be over. She was ready for her glory and respect as one of the few successful female hydra agents to be back. It was her fault that her best friend and partner was taken. If she were to believe the rumors, she wouldn’t have agreed to take on this mission.  Most thought that he was dead. She didn’t think so and neither did the man in charge. The one downside to being out in the world like this was what she would do if, and when, her heat hit her. She had enough scent blockers and suppressants that she would be good for a few days, maybe a week or so. That was the downside of being an unmated omega. 

After that, she would be in a horrible position. She groaned as she walked, trying to find her way to someplace warm. The small amount of money that she was given by an acquaintance that she worked with. It was enough for her to eat once or twice a day for a week. She knew that she could always cut it back if her mission had to be extended.  New York was a big city and she wasn’t even sure where she was supposed to start looking. She guessed that she could just ask around but then again, her being here wouldn’t be a surprise. She needed it to be a surprise. She was not going to be the strongest in the fight and she knew it. The element of surprise would be her best bet. She kept her head up as she walked. With the scent blockers,(Y/N) could pass as an alpha. She was strong, even if she was small and had plenty of confidence, well, at least on the outside. On the inside, HYDRA had done a number on her.  S he was numb to the emotional pain of all the people she has killed and hurt but that didn’t stop the flashbacks. 

It didn’t stop the echo in her head of people begging her to spare them. (Y/N) shook her head and sighed out. She found herself in front of a small coffee shop. After a second of thought, she groaned again before she walked in. It was overly crowded. Either most people had the same idea as (Y/N) or the coffee was just worth the wait. When she looked around, she saw two men sitting in the far corner. Her (Y/E/C) eye’s narrowed just slightly as they locked on to the two men. If she believed in fate and coincidences, then she would have thought that this was strange timing but she shrugged it off to her training just being that good. At that table were both men she was looking for.    
Captain America and her long-time friend, and the man she was sent to bring back, Bucky Barnes. A small smirk spread over her lips. At least now she knew about where they would be staying. They looked too comfortable here. She knew that they must have been regulars here.

“Ma’am?” the lady behind the counter asked. (Y/N) turned around and smiled at the woman. The woman was beautiful. She assumed college-age, mostly based on the textbook on the counter behind the woman.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s so crowded in here. I got distracted.” she said with a laugh.  “I would just like a large coffee. Two creams and two sugar.” 

The woman nodded her head and quickly made (Y/N) her coffee before she handed it over to her. (Y/N) paid and left with one last look at the table with the two men. Neither has seemed to even realize that they were being watched. She smiled and walked back out into the cold. She would be back. Her friend was alive like she had always thought. (Y/N) called HYDRA HQ, taking a small sip of her coffee. The coffee was amazing. She knew that she would be back even if it was just to watch the two men from afar. She needed as much information to get the upper hand as possible. 

“Hey, it’s (Y/N). I found him. And I found the man that took him. I need more time. I need to get Bucky away from Rogers and then I will bring him back.” 

The man on the other end of the phone was quiet for a long time. It was almost like he was thinking. Like something wasn’t going according to plan. 

“New plan, Agent (Y/N). Kill Rogers and bring us back our Winter Soldier.” 

(Y/N) just nodded her head, knowing that he couldn’t see. 

“Yes, sir,” she said simply. “Hail, HYDRA.,” she said so softly that it was almost like she hadn’t spoken at all. 

“Hail, HYDRA.,” the man said back before there was a click on the other end and the call was disconnected. 

(Y/N) shoved her phone back in her pocket and walked down the street, just sipping her coffee. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) had been wonder around New York keeping an eye on Bucky and Steve for a few days. The weather is getting colder and (Y/N) doesn't have much money left. She is treating herself to a nice dinner when she sees a familiar someone and decides to follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! Thank you all so much for the support on the last chapter. I started this one as soon as I posted the first but life got int eh way and I am just now getting to finish it. I hope y'all enjoy it!

(Y/N) went back to the coffee shop a few more times that week. Most days she didn’t get anything, even with how affordable the coffee was, she knew that she needed to save money. It was a week into her mission, and she wasn’t anywhere close to getting the men away from the crowded coffee shop. They went to the coffee shop daily. Getting the same thing and sitting at the same table. Their order was simple enough. Two black coffees and some form of a muffin. 

She had to admit, the muffins did look pretty good. Her stomach growled softly, and she rolled her (Y/E/C) eyes and looked out the window. It looked like it was supposed to rain sometime soon. (Y/N) wasn’t excited about that. As much as she liked the rain and how it made everything seem peaceful, she still didn’t have shelter. She thought about finding a 24/7 decently cheap restaurant, with free coffee refills. At least that way she could have some food, decent coffee and a nice warm and dry place to sit. 

There hadn’t been many words from HYDRA since she last called them. There was nothing to report back so she didn’t. It had been pretty peaceful. She almost liked being away from HQ. There was no need to rush anywhere or do anything. If she was a better person, she would leave HYDRA for a life like this. Calm, slow, normal. However, she wasn’t a better person. She was made to be a HYDRA agent. She had never had a life outside of HYDRA. Normal for her was going on missions, killing people, torturing them. That was normal. It was what she enjoyed. Being born into HYDRA does that to a person. It wasn’t easy to get out but once someone did, HYDRA wanted them back. They sent the agents that are strong but disposable. 

(Y/N) let out a sigh as she stood up. There wasn’t much she could do here. The two men left a few minutes ago while she was lost in thought. That made her angry at herself. She knew better than to get lost like that. It was dangerous. Anything could have happened, but it didn’t. She shook her head and walked out into the cold. She could feel the sting of the impending rain on her face. It almost felt like needles going into her skin. She shivered and let out a shaking breath. The streets seemed to be a little more crowded than normal. She guessed it was just everyone trying to rush to get what they needed to get done before the rain hits. 

She couldn’t stop the jealousy building in her chest at that thought. She wished she had someplace warm and dry to go to that didn’t require her to spend her last bit of money. (Y/N) licked her dry lips and shook her head like she was trying to get rid of that thought. She wasn’t the type of person to feel anything, so the feeling of jealousy was strange and almost painful. Her arms wrapped around herself like she was trying to keep herself warm in the cold. 

(Y/N) looked down as she walked. It almost looked like she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going but she was. She was watching everything that was going on around her. She had her earbuds in, but she didn’t have anything playing in them. She just wanted to seem like she wasn’t. It was safer that way. She could see who was walking past her. She watched the way they moved, trying to see if her targets were near her. She doubted it but at this point, nothing would surprise her.

Hours past and the sun was finally starting to set. The temperature had dropped drastically and (Y/N) was still in the same closes that she was on the first night she woke up in New York. She shivered more and bit into her lip hard. She was low on energy and money. Tomorrow, she knew that she had to make her move, or she would freeze and starve to death if she didn’t lose her mind from lack of sleep first. Rolling her eyes, she wrapped her arms tighter around herself. She needed to find warmth.

Just like (Y/N) had planned, she found a small 24/7 diner to wait the night out in. As she opened the door, she could hear the soft ding of a bell above the door. Surprisingly, this diner was full too. Thankfully, there was a table in the far corner from the door. (Y/N) made her way to it before sitting down. A tired-looking waitress came by to get her order. Knowing her cash was running out, (Y/N) smiled and placed her order.

“biscuits and gravy with a cup of coffee please.” A whopping $5 and some change. It was going to be somewhat filling without putting a large dent into her funds.

It didn’t take long, maybe ten minutes at the most, before the waitress was back with both her coffee and her food. She smiled and nodded her head once. “Thank you.” (Y/N) said.

Once the waitress had her back turned, the faux smile faded from her lips and she rolled her eyes. Being nice was annoying to say the last. Once she took a bite of her food, her (Y/E/C) eyes closed and she let out a soft groan. It had been a few days since she had last had anything to eat, making it taste like the best thing she had ever had.

As much as she wanted to completely inhale her food, she didn’t. She needed to take her time with it so she could stay in the warmth longer. Halfway through, she sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. She could see out of the window from here. It had started raining. (Y/N) made a face and groaned. It looked like she would have to spend a little more money here to be able to stay longer. Something that she was not looking forward to. As soon as she had that thought, the waitress was back to refill her nearly empty cup of coffee.

“Need anything else, honey?” she asked, a tired, and what (Y/N) suspected, fake smile over her lips.

(Y/N) was just about to answer when her eyes caught the movement outside of the window. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to focus through the foggy window. The man walked slowly with his head down. His long hair covering his face, even with his hood pulled over it. She smirked before she shook her head.

“No thank you.” She said without taking her eyes off of the man. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a ten and a five, laying it on the table before she started to walk off.

“Ma’am…” the woman started.

(Y/N) didn’t turn to look back. She just shook her head. “Keep it.” She called over her shoulder.

She pushed her way through the people attempting to get out of the rain. By the time (Y/N) made it out, the man she had been watching was almost out of view. The rain was cold, and it stung her exposed skin. She didn’t care. All she knew was that she needed to get to him. He would solve everything. He would get her home.

The rain-soaked her hair and clothes, making them stick to her. As uncomfortable as it was, she kept going. He wasn’t too far ahead, most of the people in her way had moved or taken shelter from the rain. Her eyes scanned the figure. She was getting closer now. He was only 30 feet ahead now.

She could almost hear her heart in her ears over the loud rain. For once, she let herself get distracted. As soon as she did, someone stepped in front of her, blocking her view. They muttered an apology, trying to carefully sidestep her. (Y/N) shoved them hard out of her way.

“What the fuck, bitch?” a man’s voice called from behind her.

Now, she was pissed. The man she was following was gone. The one that had stepped in front of her gave her prey just enough time to getaway. She cursed under her breath and went to turn down another road. Just as she turned, she felt a pair of hands grab her. One was decently warm and felt like flesh. The other was cold and hard. It felt like metal.

(Y/N) was slammed hard into the brick wall behind her, causing her breath to be knocked out of her. Still, she smiled and met the eyes of the man in front of her. The hardness of his face left the second their eyes met, and he took a step back

“Hiya, Buck. Miss me?” (Y/N) asked, a smirk spreading across her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I just love a good cliffhanger. The next chapter is going to have a long-awaited fight scene. It might be a tad dark but hopefully, y'all are like me and love the dark shit too. I sure as hell know I do. I am not sure when I will get to chapter 3 because I have been working on my novel. Feel free to follow me on Twitter for updates! 
> 
> @KalikaSion


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) confronts and fights Bucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this was took so long to get out and I am so sorry how short it is. I will try and do longer once in the future. As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It wasn't what I wanted it to be but It is pretty close. Life has been hectic and I just wanted to give y'all the chapter I have been promising.

Bucky just stared at her. It had been a long time since he had last seen her. She looked bad. Not only was she caked in dirt and what he thought was dried blood, he could nearly see her bones. The cold rain didn’t do much to wash away the dirt and blood, but it did help. Her eyes were dull, nothing like what he remembered when he knew her. He didn’t want to fight her, but he knew he was going to have to. 

“(Y/N). You look like shit,” he said, half-smiling at her. 

“You don’t look much better. Freedom doesn’t look good on you.” she sneered. 

“Funny. HYDRA still doesn’t look good on you. Come on, (Y/N). I’ll make you a deal. I win this fight, you come with me. You win, I will come back to HYDRA with you.”

The deal was stupid, but it was the best she was going to get, and she knew it. She smirked and nodded. Without another word, she dropped to her knees and kicked her leg out. She knocked his legs from under him, grinning when she watched him fall hard to the ground. Bucky groaned as he pushed himself up to his feet. He had almost forgotten how strong she really was, even if she didn’t look like it. Especially now when he could see more of her bones than he cared to count.

(Y/N) was his friend, HYDRA or not, he loved her, and he didn’t want to hurt her. He felt bad for her. She was born and raised there. It was all she knew. He wanted this fight over with and he knew to do that, he would have to hurt her enough that he could either carry her back or have someone from SHIELD come pick them up and take them back to Stark Tower.

“Did you forget how to fight James?” she smirked as she moved closer.

“You wish, sweetheart.” He rolled his eyes as he dodged her next move before he grabbed her with his arm around her throat.

(Y/N) struggled hard. The ice-cold rain was not helping her fight any. She was chilled to the bone and everything was starting to hurt. Still, she had to fight. Part of her didn’t want to fight anymore. She just wanted to give up. If she went back without Bucky and Steve, she would be killed. If SHIELD took her, she might be killed when they found that she wasn’t going to talk.

  
Suicide by Bucky wouldn’t be too bad. He wouldn’t have the guts to kill her slowly like the others. It would be quick and relatively painless. That was all she needed to make her decision. She fought back, pushing him off of her. She shoved him hard, making him slam into the wall behind him. She smirked when she heard the air being knocked out of his lungs. 

“Your rusty, James. Much like that arm of yours.”

This wasn’t the girl he remembered. The girl he knows was a sweet girl. He assumed that once he left, HYDRA made her into the perfect weapon. What he planned to do next was going to hurt him a lot more than it was going to hurt her. He rushed forward and grabbed her, slamming her hard into the wall. Her head hit and he heard a crack.

(Y/N)'s vision blurred and started to fade. She blinked hard to try and made the stars go away. She tried to push him off, just to be slammed back again. She heard another crack and blinding pain in her left shoulder. Keeping her arm close to her body, she tried to kick him off. Anything to not give up fighting yet.

Bucky took her leg in his metal arm and twisted. She screamed and he muffled her by putting his flesh hand over her mouth. The pop of her leg being pushed out of place was the last thing she heard before she finally let the darkness take over her. The pain was unbearable. Her head hurt and she was sure her blood was soaking hair with the rain. The damage to her shoulder and leg made her realized that if she made it out of this, she was not going to be able to use them for a long time.

When he realized she was out, he let her go before he pulled her into his arms to carry her to where he knew she would be safe. He wasn’t too far from Steve’s apartment. Bucky hated stopping by unannounced, especially with company, if you could call her that. She weighed next to nothing, so he had no trouble carrying her up to his apartment.

Bucky knocked hard, doing his best not to shiver as the cold was finally making itself known. He and (Y/N) had tracked more than their fair share of water up to the floor with them. Steve opened the door a few moments later. Surprise was clean on his face. Here stood his best friend with an unconscious girl that looked like she had seen better days.

“Okay, I know what everyone says, but this isn’t what it looks like. Can we come in and I will explain?” he asked

Steve sighed and ran his hand over his face before nodding and stepping aside to let them in. “Your explanation better be good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked this one. I will work on chapter four and I will do my best to make it a little longer than the others. Let me know if you have any requests for what to write coming up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) and Steve finally meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I vanished for a while. Life was not good for me and I needed a few to get myself back I am already working on chapter 5.

It was warm. Too warm. But comfortable. The couch she was laying on was comfortable. She could hear voices talking softly across the room from her. She could make out Bucky’s voice, and scent, but the other was still unknown. The other male smelt nice, even from the other side of the room. She didn’t know his name or what he looked like but her inner wolf was satisfied with him close to her. Her head hurt like hell. She groaned and tried her best to move, causing herself pain bad enough that she felt nauseated. The unknown male was at her side almost immediately.

She could feel his hand on her cheek. The pain and nausea settled, and she opened her eyes slowly. The man was attractive. Very attractive. His smell was overwhelming this close, her mouth starting to water. It was clear who he was to her, even though she didn’t even know his name yet. This was alpha. _Her alpha_. Chills ran down her spine and she let out a shaking breath. By the look on his face, knew it too. Neither of the two said anything, they just stared at each other.

Bucky cleared his throat and did his best to not roll his eyes. “(Y/N), this is Steve. The guy you were sent to kill.” He said simply.

He thought it was a little cruel, the way the universe made his best friends’ true mate a HYDRA agent that was sent to kill him. Her name sounded strange, especially coming from Bucky. Her memories were scattered and missing in chunks. While she was out cold, Bucky filled Steve in on as much as he possibly could. He told Steve who (Y/N) was to him. He told him all about her role in HYDRA. Steve rolled his eyes and tried to hide a smile. Bucky was never very good at being subtle.

Even when they were kids. Somethings change over the years and this was not one of them. “How’s your head, doll?” Steve asked, ignoring Bucky for now.

He had gotten over the fact that his best friend had nearly killed her. He was pissed off for a while but now, he understood how necessary it was. Sure, he thought that there was a better way but, at the moment, he might have done the same. From what Bucky had said, she was pretty ruthless.

“Fine.” (Y/N) muttered softly, almost in a whisper.

Even if this man in front of her was her alpha, she was on edge. Her Hydra training was kicking in higher than her instincts. Slowly, he moved his hand behind her head to feel the wound.

“I think Bucky cracked your skull a little.” He said stiffly, looking over his shoulder at his friend.

“I’m fine, Steve.” She said softly as she tried to push herself off of the couch.

Her head spun and she felt like she was going to barf. Steve grabbed a trashcan he had brought out just in case and held it under her with one hand, the other holding her hair back for her. When she was done, he moved to her side and rubbed her back. After Bucky had given her a drink to get the taste out of her mouth, he said his goodbyes and left the two alone. It felt awkward here.

(Y/N) didn’t know what to do or to say. The man she was sitting next to, her alpha, was supposed to be the man she was supposed to bring back to HYDRA. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. There was no way that she was going to be able to kill him. After just a few minutes with him and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to hurt him. Steve sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry about what he did. I’m also sorry that he bought you here. I don’t know why he did.” He said with a soft chuckle. “But I am glad that he did.” He said as he glanced over at her.

She raised her brow and let out a weak laugh. “It doesn’t make this any less awkward the more you talk, you know. How does it feel, knowing that your omega was sent to kill you?” she asked without looking at him.

Her training told her to fight. To still bring him back to them. Her instinct told her to stay. To let him keep her safe and to let him protect her. She was torn with the battle she was having with herself. Steve stood up and moved to the kitchen. He was gone for a few moments before he came back with a sandwich for her.

“It isn’t much but it’s something. If you don’t throw this up, we can get you something else.” He said as he sat back down.

Again, her training told her not to trust him. Not to eat anything he gave her. Her instinct told her to take it. To let him take care of her. He watched her carefully, not pulling his hand away. She groaned and took the sandwich from him, causing him to smirk at her.

“Are you always this annoying?” she asked as she took a bite. She’d never admit it, but it was a pretty good sandwich. It was gone in a matter of minutes and her head wasn’t hurting as bad, but she was exhausted now.

“Only sometimes.” Steve smiled sadly at her before he stood up.

(Y/N) assumed that he was making room for her to lay down, so she did. Another laugh left his lips before he picked her up bridal style. (Y/N) screamed out, trying to push him away. Her attempts didn’t do much but wear her out more. He laid her down in his bed and tucked her in before he laid on top of the covers next to her. He wasn’t tired but, being her alpha, he wanted to make sure she was safe. Slowly, she fell asleep.

Her head was still hurting her but laying on the comfortable bed. As she slept, Steve watched her. She looked thin. Too thin. Bucky had told him how sick she looked compared to what she used to look like. It broke his heart, but he wasn’t sure if it was from human decency or that he was seeing his true mate looking so breakable. His fingers ran down her jawline, tucking some of her (Y/H/C) hair behind her ear. Sometime in her sleep, (Y/N) rolled to her side and laid her head on his chest. Steve smiled and gently wrapped an arm around her, almost protectively. Even if they were supposed to be mates, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was a sick joke.

As much work as he had put into taking down HYDRA and his mate was one of them. Granted, she was born there and didn’t go willingly. In her sleep, (Y/N)’s breathing was starting to race. Steve looked down at her and shifted just slightly so he could watch her better. She started screaming like someone in pain. He remembered how many nightmares Bucky had after they got him back and now, she was going through the same.

Seeing his best friend go through this was different than seeing her go through this. His heart broke for her. He rolled them so she was flat on the bed and he was hovering over her. She screamed more. Louder. The pain in her voice was clear. His hand went to her cheek and he laid his forehead on hers. He shushed her like he would a child, just barely over a whisper.

“It’s okay, my little omega. You’re safe.” Her eyes opened and tears were streaming down her face.

The pain and fear were clear in her eyes. She wanted to say something. Anything. Nothing would come out. She just pressed her face against his neck, nuzzling slightly. His scent was calming. He kissed her forehead and carefully rubbed her back. She didn’t go back to sleep. She just laid there holding on to him, letting him rub her back. It was soothing and a little strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My comments and inbox are both open to questions and suggestions. My book is also out now. Just search Kalika Sion on Amazon. Follow me on Twitter @kalikasion for book and fanfiction updates.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) goes into her first heat since moving in with Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking so long to get back to y'all. Life has been hell. I am trying to do everything at once. I hope y'all enjoy this chapter.

Being with Steve was just strange. She was always safe and never felt alone. Learning how to let someone else take care of her and not having to do everything on her own. Steve was almost a little too clingy for her, but she was slowly getting used to it. He was her alpha and he just wanted to keep her safe. Part of her hated it but yet, the omega in her loved her alpha being so protective of her. She was allowed to do a lot of things that she wasn’t allowed to do when she was with HYDRA, but he didn’t like her leaving the apartment without him or Bucky.

She didn’t really blame him very much. She was afraid to leave on her own anyway. They were still out there. They could still find her and still hurt her. Bucky was still her best friend. It didn’t feel like anything had changed between them in the years that he had left. For that, she was glad. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel alone because she wasn’t. She felt loved and cared for by both her alpha and by her best friend. If Steve had something to do, like a meeting to go to, Bucky was put on omega duty. (Y/N) didn’t really mind but Steve seemed a little reluctant to leave her side.

Not that she would ever admit it, but she was a little afraid to be completely alone now. (Y/N) has been with Steve for almost three months now. She was slowly starting to leave the apartment. Learning how to live outside of HYDRA was one of the hardest things that she has ever done. She felt almost like a child learning how the real world works for the first time. Everything was so frustrating and confusing. Both Steve and Bucky were understanding enough, Bucky more so than Steve.

(Y/N) assumed it was just because he understood where she was coming from and he had been there before. Steve did his best to help her, but he never knew exactly what to do to help her. She seemed to struggle most of the time with the smallest things. Cooking was hard for her, but she was slowly learning. Frustration was something that she dealt with. If she messed up, she lost it. She would scream and cry. Sometimes she would throw things. No one blamed (Y/N). Everyone tried to help her.

Slowly, she was getting better about it. Bucky did his best to help her calm down. Steve didn’t know how to help. He hated that someone else had to help his omega with daily life, but he was just glad that someone was his childhood best friend. He trusted Bucky and he knew that Bucky wasn’t going to do anything to hurt (Y/N) or Steve. (Y/N) was like a little sister to Bucky. When he hurt her to bring her back to Steve’s, that was one of the worse things that he had ever done.

Now, (Y/N) was in the kitchen. Steve and Bucky were on a run and she didn’t want to go. She felt safe enough to stay back. She was working on lunch, a simple salad and sandwich thing for the two men. Life with Steve was great. His possessiveness was getting better, but it was still there. She learned that was just how alphas were, especially with their omegas. Even if they were mates, they hadn’t had sex just yet.

Both Steve and (Y/N) were still waiting. Trying to get to know each other even more than they already did. The waiting was more on Steve’s end than hers. She was ready to show him how much she wanted him. He wanted to wait, going as far as getting her heat and scent blockers to make it easier for them both. Her smell was amazing and keeping himself under control was hard enough as it was. Even with that small dilemma, they both slept in the same bed.

Since the first night that they slept next to each other, it was near impossible to sleep apart. For the months they have spent together, the scent and heat blockers have worked. Today was different for some reason. (Y/N) could feel the stabbing pain in her lower stomach. She stopped making lunch and gripped the edge of the counter hard enough that her knuckles turned white. She gasped out and closed her eyes.

Her eyes closed tightly, and she could feel tears form in her eyes. This couldn’t happen. Not right now. The pain was getting worse. Her stomach felt like it was on fire. She screamed out and fell to her knees, pulling her legs into her chest. Curled in a ball, (Y/N) cried out. Chill bumps formed on her skin but at the same time, she was covered in sweat. It hadn’t happened in a long time but now her heat was back.

The doorknob turned and the door opened but she couldn’t push herself off of the floor to see who it was. She could hear a low growl and then the door slammed. Steve was at her side, lifting her up off of the floor. She whimpered out as she curled herself against his chest, nuzzling her face against his neck. A low purr left her lips before she nipped at the soft skin of his neck.

“Alpha.” She purred as she pulled his skin between her teeth again.

Steve stiffened under her and let out a low growl as he took her to their room. He laid her down gently before he stood up and looked down at her. His pupils were blown as he watched her wiggle on the beg, silently begging him to touch her. Slowly, he lowered himself over her, kissing her neck.

“Gonna make you mine, ‘mega.” He growled out as he lowered himself down her body.

Steve lowered himself more, pulling her pants down. He tossed her pants somewhere in the room before he went back between her legs. Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes and groaned softly. Carefully, he flicked his tongue out and licked the wet spot on her panties that her slick had left. Moaning softly, he licked at her again, running his hands up her thighs to hold her legs open.

After a few more flicks of his tongue, he slid her panties down off her and tossed them in the same direction that he tossed her pants. Standing up, he pulled his shirt off, still staring down at (Y/N). She bit her lip and tried to close her legs to keep her slick from running out of her pussy. She could feel it throbbing hard and it was just getting worse the more Steve toyed with her like this.

Another whimper left her lips as she watched him pull his shorts and boxers off, his cock springing free. Her eyes widened as she saw the size of his cock. Easily ten inches long and fairly thick. Her pussy throbbed harder now and she let out a whine. Slowly, she sat up and pulled her shirt off. Since she didn’t wear a bra around the house, her breasts bounced out and she grabbed at them, biting her lip as she met his eyes. Steve didn’t waste time.

He was on his knees in front of her again, moaning at her scent now that nothing was blocking it. He flicked his tongue out, dipping it into her walls. His nails dug into her skin and he pulled her into him. His lips moved up and found her clit. He pulled it between his lips and sucked softly as he slid a finger inside of her, curling it up and rubbing her G spot.

(Y/N) moaned out, her back arching off of the bed. One hand gripped at the sheets under her and the other gripped his hair causing him to moan out and gripped at her harder, his nails digging into her skin. His finger moved faster, and he sucked harder. (Y/N)’s hips wiggled but he held her hips down. Her body shook hard and she screamed out a moan.

“Need more. Please, alpha. More.” She begged, whining out.

“Anything for my little omega.” He said with a smirk.

Steve stood up and slowly pulled his fingers out of her pussy. Using the same hand, he hands that he had fingered her with, he pumped at his cock. Letting his cock go, he grabbed her hips and pulled her closer as he kneeled on the bed with her. Carefully, he lifted her up and slid inside of her. Her lips parted and she gasped out, wrapping her legs around his waist.

He trusted hard and fast into her, moaning with her. He leaned over, pressing his lips to hers. (Y/N) wrapped her arms around him and she dug her nails into his shoulders. He leaned down to kiss her neck, nipping softly. Their moans filled the room. The air was thick with the smell of sex and sweat. Steve wanted to be harder. Rougher but he wanted their first time to be different than most. He wanted it to be gentle and he wanted to officially be mated to her.

“I’m gonna cum, alpha.” (Y/N) cried out.

“Me too.” He grunted, clearly doing his best to hold back.

She could already feel his knot forming, making her feel fuller than before. With one last thrust, Steve cam hard inside of her, filling her up as his knot caught. As he was coming, he bit into her neck hard, officially marking her as his mate. (Y/N) moaned out as she came too, holding him tightly to her as her lips found his neck. She bit into his neck, leaving her own mark on him.

Slowly, Steve carefully moved them, so they were on their sides. Waiting for his knot to go down would take a while and he wanted them both to feel comfortable. He held her close to her and smiled as he kissed her lips.

“Feel better, (Y/N)?” he asked as he brushed her hair out of her eyes.

(Y/N) nodded slowly and smiled as she laid her head on him. “Oh definitely.”

After a few more minutes, both of them fell asleep. His knot deflated and he rolled to his back. (Y/N) curled against his side with her head on his chest. He pulled a blanket over them and held her tightly, almost protectively to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @KalikaSion and if you would like to donate and/or request anything for the future, I have a Venmo for that also @KalikaSion.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluff and smut. I hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long, Life got extremely hard for me and I was not in a good place. I am doing better now and hopefully, I will be back to adding a chapter a week.

It had been a few months since (Y/N) and Steve first mated. After she talked to Steve, she stopped taking her heat suppressants. Their matting sessions were fun. He helped her with her heats, and she helped him with his ruts. They were in love and it was clear to everyone. (Y/N) was welcomed by the other avengers with open arms. Well, almost all of them. Tony wasn’t very welcoming, but she didn’t blame him. During her time with HYDRA, she wasn’t a good person. She had killed and hurt more people than she cared to count, and she would never forget that.

Even if Steve, Bucky, and the others had forgiven her, she didn’t forgive herself and she didn’t understand why she was forgiven so easily. She knew that if roles were reversed, she wouldn’t forgive someone like her. What she did was unforgivable, at least to her. Tony may not have been very welcoming, but he was civil when she was around.

When it came time for a mission, Steve didn’t want to leave (Y/N) behind but there was no choice. He couldn’t take her with him, and no one could stay back. Everyone was needed and she understood that. Tony had given the team two days to get ready. Those two days, Steve and (Y/N) stayed in bed. The first night was mostly sex but the following day, they just laid in bed, holding each other.   
  


She was not going to admit it, but she was afraid. She didn’t want him to go. She didn’t want to be alone but there was no way around it. It had to be done. Her head was on his chest, his hand ran up and down her spine. Neither of them said much. There wasn’t anything to say. It wasn’t until her stomach started to growl that he broke the silence.

“You need to eat, little omega,” he whispered softly as he pulled back from her.

“I don’t want to. That means getting out of bed,” she pouted as she looked up at him.

Steve couldn’t help it. He laughed at how she looked up at him. It was adorable and he was going to miss it. He knew that it was only going to be a week at the most, but they have not been apart since they had gotten together. He knew that she was worried. He was worried too. Slowly, he frowned and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

“I don’t either. But I can’t let my mate starve.” He muttered, putting his forehead against hers. “Come on. We can order something. Cuddle on the couch. Watch a movie.”

(Y/N) groaned softly and hid her face against his chest. “Fine.” She muttered before she pulled away from him. “You are the world’s most annoying alpha.”

Steve laughed softly as he watched her get up. “Yeah, but you love me.” He said as he stood up too.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at him. A small smirk spread over her lips and she shook her head. “That has nothing to do with you being annoying.”

Since they were both still naked from the night before, the two had to get dressed. Steve pulled on his boxers and lounge pants. He didn’t worry about a shirt since his omega liked to lay against his chest. He watched as she wiggled her panties on and then pulled on his shirt. He loved when she wore his shorts. They swallowed her whole but damn, she looked so fucking sexy in them, He could just look at her all day like that if she would let him.

He knew that she was insecure about how she looked. It didn’t matter how many times he told her differently. He did understand though. Even if she hated her scars and imperfections that HYDRA had left on her body, he loved them. They were what made her, her. Images from the night before flashed in his mind. It was the same as always. He was hovering over her naked body. She looked shy. Almost scared. She knew that he wasn’t going to hurt her, but she was still afraid.

Her skin was covered in scars. He assumed from fights gone wrong. He would kiss them all, taking his time on each of them. There were easily two dozen of them, at least. He never asked what happened. He just understood. The whole time he kissed her skin, she kept her eyes closed.

“Steve?” her voice broke his thoughts.

He smiled and shook his head, looking back at her. “I’m here.”

She frowned and walked over to him. “You seemed out of it. Are you okay?” she asked as she wrapped her arms around him.

He nodded his head and hugged her back, kissing her forehead. “Never better.” He said with a smile.

The two of them walked to the living room. He laid down first and then she laid down next to him. He held her to his body. Pulling out his phone, he ordered some Chinese food. He was a little surprised that (Y/N) was so clingy. Even as an omega, she wasn’t the clingy type. Even so, he didn’t say anything. He loved that she wanted to lay on him like this.

If it were up to him, he would stay back with her, but he knew that he was needed. They laid together until there was a knock on the door.

(Y/N) sat up and moved to the table as Steve went to the door to get their food. They ate in silence, still not feeling the need for words. (Y/N) didn’t even know what to say. She had said everything already and anything else said right now would just be too much.

After the two of them ate, they cleaned up the dishes together and laid back on the couch. Steve wrapped his arms around her and pulled a blanket over the two of them. He went back to running his fingers up and down her spine. It was calming for her and she loved it. She could hear his heart pounding under her ear.

She couldn’t help it. Tears ran down her cheeks. Steve could feel his chest becoming damp from her tears. Carefully, he put his hand on her cheek and lifted her head so he could look down at her. Their eyes met and he leaned in slowly. Their lips touched just barely before the kiss became deeper, more passionate.

Steve moved his hand to her hip, gripping at her. A soft moan escaped her lips as she shifted herself, so she was on top of him. (Y/N) put her hands on his chest, running them slowly up his chest to the sides of his face to hold him to the kiss. His hands moved under the shirt she was wearing. Her breath shook once his fingers touched her bare skin.

His fingers moved to pull her panties down. (Y/N) lifted her hips so he could pull her panties off her body. Steve’s lips moved to her neck, biting down gently causing her to moan out. Steve could feel his cock starting to harden. He pushed his hips up so his covered cock would be pressed against her pussy. He could feel how wet she was getting, her juices coating the cloth over his cock.

He moaned softly as (Y/N) started to grind her hips down on his cock. She shuddered out a breath and tilted her head back. Steve kept his hands on her hips, holding her down on him. She stayed there, grinding down on him until she couldn’t take it anymore. She pulled back from him and moved down to his hips. Pulling his pants and boxers down, she smirked as his hard cock sprang out.

(Y/N) met his eyes as her hand went down and took his cock. His breath hitched in his throat and he closed his eyes. His hips bucked up into her hand. (Y/N) lowered herself down, taking his cock into her mouth. Steve moaned loudly, fisting her hair. (Y/N) moaned around his cock when he gripped her hair. She bobbed her head, taking his cock down her throat. Steve couldn’t stop himself. He thrust his hips hard, making her gag on his cock,

She sucked him for a few minutes before he pulled her off his cock. He lifted her and pulled her back into his lap, his cock sliding into her. Both moaned out as he filled her. He gave her a few minutes to get used to his size before he started to thrust into her. His hands moved back to her hips so he could hold her down so when he thrust, he could go as deep as possible.

They kept this pace with him slamming in and out of her until his knot started to form, tugging at her entrance. Steve moved his hand down to her clit, using his thumb to rub it hard and fast. (Y/N) moaned loudly. Her pussy tightened around his cock, the sign that she was about to cum. Steve picked up his pace, slamming into her as his knot caught, tying him inside of her.

(Y/N) laid on top of him, waiting for his knot to deflate so she could lay next to him again. While she was on top of him, they went back to kissing, this time softly. Steve put his hand on (Y/N)’s cheek and smiled softly. He broke the kiss and met her eyes.

“I love you, little omega,” he whispered to her, kissing the tip of her nose.

“I love you too, alpha.” She whispered back, nuzzling against his neck before she fell asleep with his knot still inside of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I have a twitter. @KalikaSion Follow me for updates on the fanfic and on my novel. My DMS are always open for requests.


	7. UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry y'all

I have been a bit MIA and I am so sorry. My physical and mental health went downhill so fast since I last wrote anything. I still plan on writing again and I am still open to taking requests for future fanfics or even what y'all want to happen next. I hope you can forgive me and I hope that you will still enjoy this story. I love all of y'all. Stay safe!


	8. I promise I didn't forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am here, I promise

Life has gotten a little hectic for me and my kids. I had to put this on the back burner for now but I am back. I would love to make this my full time commitment as I am a stay at home parent with disabilities. I am not asking for anything but if you would like, I have cashapp and Venmo. I also have a huge surprise coming for all of y'all that are interested. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving (if you celebrate it). I am working on the next chapter as we speak. I am going to do my best to add a chapter once a week at least. 

Venmo: @KalikaSion

Cashapp: $Kalikasion


	9. Chapter 7: I don't need to be saved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unwanted visitor comes to (Y/N) while Steve is away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one is a little short but I hope that you enjoy it! The next one will be longer than this. I am already working on it for next week.

Steve had been gone for almost two weeks. Getting used to being alone was hard but (Y/N) was slowly learning how to live a normal life on her own. It was hard but she was doing it. Life outside of HYDRA was better. She had Steve in her life. Bucky was back in her life. On top of it, the others were starting to take a liking to her as well. She had assumed that it was just because she was Steve’s mate. She knew if roles were reversed, she wouldn’t trust an ex hydra agent. Especially one that didn’t leave on their own. Bucky made her leave.

Not that she blamed him for anything. She was glad that she had met Steve. She loved him more than anything now and couldn’t imagine her life without him. He had changed a lot for her. He made her realize that she was loveable. She realized that she didn’t deserve what had happened to her, it wasn’t like she asked for it. It was just done to her.

Her time alone was okay. (Y/N) had found out that she really did like to cook. She was good at it too. The apartment smelt nice now, like muffins and cookies. There was more than enough for basically an army. With her extra baked goods, (Y/N) donated most to food banks or homeless shelters. At first, they were careful to take them but after explaining that she was Steve’s mate, they trusted her and gladly took them from her.

Two weeks seemed like a long time and it was moving slowly but (Y/N) was doing her best to stay busy. It was late now and (Y/N) was resting on the couch. Steve hadn’t called or had bucky call in a few days. Part of her was worried but at the same time, she just assumed that he was busy. They were on a mission, after all, days without communication were to be expected.

(Y/N) was falling asleep on the couch. She had a long day and the movie on the tv was a little boring which was good for her. It meant that she could get some decent sleep. Since Steve had been gone, (Y/N) didn’t sleep in the bed. It felt too big when she was on her own. She just slept on the couch. It was the perfect size for her and more than just a little comfortable.

She had fallen into a deep sleep when the door opened. She could hear the footsteps coming closer, but she was too tired to open her eyes. Part of her just assumed it was Steve. For anyone, agent or not, it was a reasonable assumption. Anyone would assume that the footsteps they heard would have been their mate if they had been gone for a while.

Then, she could smell them. It wasn’t Steve. It wasn’t even bucky or any part of the team. She knew that smell, but it wasn’t someone she expected to see. (Y/N) jumped up, moving away from the intruder. Her heart was pounding painfully hard in her chest. Her breath shook hard as she looked at the man. She hadn’t seen him in a long time, even when she was with Hydra, she didn’t see him often.  
“Hello there, (Y/N).”

His voice was just as charming as ever, sending chills down her spine. (Y/N) wasn’t sure why he had that reaction over her, but he did. In no way was she attracted to him anymore, but he still made her react. Only this time, it was from fear.

“Alex. Wh…what are you doing here?” she asked, her voice shaking even if she didn’t want it to. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t keep the fear out of her voice. Even if she were able to keep the fear from her voice, she knew that he would be able to smell her fear. Even she could smell her own fear.

“You left me. For that fucking super soldier.” He spat at her.

In a way, he was right, while they weren’t technically mated, they were together. He was her alpha unofficially. He protected her and kept her as safe as an alpha should but at the same time, he didn’t own her. Not the way Steve did now, even if she was free to do what she wanted and wasn’t kept secret like Alex tried to keep her.

“I…we didn’t do anything. We weren’t anything.” She shuddered, doing her best to move away from him.

The fear still filled her. Something bad was going to happen and she knew it. Without pulling out her phone, she pushed call on the first number in her call log. It was whether Steve or Bucky. Either of them would be better than no one. Even if they didn’t get to her in time, at least they would know who to go after and what exactly had happened to her.

Alex didn’t care what she had to say. He rolled his eyes and stepped closer to her. (Y/N) tossed her phone down, somehow Alex didn’t see where it landed which she was grateful for. It was hidden but the call was still going.

“I’m going to teach you to respect alphas. Not just yours but all of them. You’re nothing, (Y/N). Nothing but a fucking omega. You weren’t put here for anything but for an alpha to fuck.” He growled.

(Y/N) growled back. She was still scared but she pushed through it. If this was her end, she wasn’t going down without a fight.

“Maybe you should learn just basic respect. You’re a sad excuse for an alpha. That is why I left.” She spat back at him.

That seemed to piss him off. He charged at her, knocking her into the wall hard enough to leave a hole in the wall and to knock the air out of her lungs. She gasped for air, doing her best to fill them with air again. This was going to be bad and she knew it. She was just thankful that she placed that call.

There was no time for her to say anything else. Alex grabbed her and slammed her to the ground. She cried out in pain just to be kicked in the side of the head. She saw stars and could taste blood. His next attack was to her leg. He stomped down hard. A sickening crunch could be heard and it made her nauseous.

Next, he did the same to her arm, making her cry loudly again. He didn’t stop his attack on her for what felt like an hour. By then, (Y/N) was unconscious. The pain was just too much for her. She had forgotten her phone that was under the couch. Her breathing was slow and shallow. She knew that this would be it if someone didn't find her soon. Part of her just hoped that Steve wasn't going to be the one to find her. He didn't need to see her like this.   
  
Even if she was unconscious, (Y/N) heard the door bust opened. She could hear two men run in. She could hear Alex yelling back. She could hear the fighting. The last thing that she could remember was Steve's voice. It shook like he was crying. It broke her heart to hear it. This was why she didn't want him to find her. She knew that it would break him.   
  
"I'm here, doll. I'm so sorry," he whispered. 

After that, (Y/N) didn't hear anything else. Everything was dark and quiet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.patreon.com/kalikasion
> 
> Here it is! The awesome surprise for y'all. don't forget I also have cashapp and venmo if you don't want to commit to a monthly fee. Both are kalikasion as well

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. It will have many chapters but I am not sure how many there will be as of now. I will just write until I feel good about where they are at. I will update as often as I can. If y'all have any question or requests, just ask.


End file.
